Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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