she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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