i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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