of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
