Acid is not a monday night drug
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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