Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize