my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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