That's intense
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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