so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
