You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
