who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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