2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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