You're so nebulous sometimes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
