I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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