Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
there is glitter all over my balls
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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