how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
