The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
