Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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