i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
