can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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