Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
