She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
