Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
