I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
