when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
