just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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