there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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