I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
