Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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