Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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