Come see our sink grown plant.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
