i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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