he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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