susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
