I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
