I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
