piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
