quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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