I can text with my tongue
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
