another moral hangover. fuck.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
