He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
