He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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