I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
