we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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