NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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