There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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