no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize