She's JV to your varsity
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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