I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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