I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
