I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
