Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
