Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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