Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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