I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
